Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been.” ― Lundy Bancroft, “Now let's move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife.Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? A real man doesn't slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he's got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit.And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen - the queen of the home she makes for their children.” ― S. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough.This is an insidious, pervasive mode of oppression, in many ways more effective than physical oppression" (Jordan, 1989). Whether or not they are survivors of violence, the prevalence of its existence in our society results in some degree of shame and silencing.One of the goals of healing is to reduce this shame.Understanding that the serious public health issue of domestic violence is not gender specific, they serve men in relationships with men, regardless of how they identify, and stand ready to assist them in navigating through abusive relationships.
According to feminist psychiatrist, Judith Jordan, "A powerful social function of shaming people is to silence them.
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him.
RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.
Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project at 800-832-1901 supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services.